Oh the joy the joy-I refuse to let all this hard work be for nothing!

I look forward to a moment where my children are not screaming, whooping, and hollering as they wrestle while I try to decipher a source with a rich description of faith development trajectory. I long for my oldest, who has taken an interest in cooking, to come home one day and ask for permission to make breakfast for dinner (he hasn’t done that since my surgery in January) But I do enjoy the breaks for hugs and recounting of school days, ideas about fun things we can do, and the like. I look forward to next Thursday, when I will have submitted my VERY ROUGH first draft to my adviser, will have completed my coursework for this semester, and have a break during which I can get back outside and do our Sunday bike rides together.

But not now. This weekend is devoted to church, and a whole lot of writing. Movie marathon, here we come!

• Chicago-it was good being so close to home because I could visit with my family as well as attend a professional conference.
• Compared to my last experience there were more professionally relevant topics shared this year. thus far my favorite was the session on millennial students. I just hate I missed what I would consider the companion session which discussed students from this generation who do not fit that mold.
• The grad school/knowledge community fair-wonderful opportunity to see what other institutions are doing and get more details about the knowledge communities.
• Becky and I had a good turnout for our presentation-7 people.  I know that doesn’t seem like a lot, but at 7 a.m. after a prior evening filled with grad fair and socials, not to mention folks hitting the Chicago nightlife, 7 was pretty doggone good!

I am looking forward to the next NASPA conference in Philadelphia!  I hope to be able to pull together a presentation and submit it for approval for next year.

I received several articles from the professor teaching the seminar class that I have yet to go over.  The goal is to hit those tomorrow and Monday, and although my literature review isn’t completely typed up, I’m hoping based on what I’ve read and pulled together to rewrite my introduction and get moving on my conceptual framework.  I have a better sense of what is out there in the literature and what the focus of my study should be to provide useful information via my dissertation to practitioners.

On a separate note, in my elective we discussed the difference in focus between research institutions and liberal arts institutions-and it is amazing how I see myself reflected in it.  My research is more aimed at helping practitioners more effectively serve their student population as opposed adding to a knowledge base.  Strangely enough though, my dissertation should accomplish both given that there is a significant lack of information out there regarding the Adventist student experience in the literature.

But without surprise, the media’s reporting of this story has been spun in typical fashion.  We now know that Professor Bishop was accidentally responsible for the death of her brother 24 years ago.  Seeing as it was an accidental discharge, I’m not sure what the point of reporting that part of the story was except to fuel speculation into her character.  In some ways, bringing it up as set the world twittering (no pun intended) about whether or not it was “truly” an accidental shooting.  Just yesterday I was reading online where she was connected to a Harvard bombing plot as well.

Her past actions don’t intensify or lessen the impact of what took place Friday.  She took her anger out on others because she didn’t get what she wanted, or at least what she felt she deserved.  How many of us have dealt with students in this same place?  Even more disturbing about some of the reporting is the inevitable “let’s find somewhere to place the blame” game.  There is talk about the fact that there was a petition on campus to allow cleared private citizens to carry firearms on campus.  Without coming out and saying it, the individuals who are focusing on this seem to be saying the failure to pass this as a policy led to this tragedy.  Those individuals are assuming that the individuals whose lives were taken in that room, whose lives were shattered by devastating injury, would opt to carry firearms-and that would be a mistaken assumption.

At the end of the day, what matters most is this: a woman who would not have normally landed in anyone’s radar was not given something she felt she deserved, twice at the same institution.  She took a gun into a meeting and ripped Gopi Podilla, Maria Davis and Adriel Johnson from their families.  She left injured and devastated the families of Joseph Leahy and Stephanie Monticciolo, who lay in critical condition at an Alabama hospital.  She left Luis Cruz-Vera with a lifetime of recovery from the stress of simply doing his job and being assaulted for it.  I am sorry that Professor Bishop did not successfully complete the tenure process. I know it is stressful and devastating.  But I would like to remember and focus on those who were the true victims in this tragedy, and more so what this event spells for those of us in higher education who deal with students on a daily basis who are often outraged at being denied their requests.

The first three semesters I was pretty good about being able to jump into studying after the kids were in bed. But, as it invariably does life happened. Friends needed my support through some pretty devastating crises, life dealt me its own twists and turns, and the rhythm I had once established went right down the drain. After the dust settled I was never able to get back into that old rhythm. Even now finding the time and energy to do basic things like washing dishes and cooking meals sometimes escapes me. We have more pizza nights than I care for, and some extra activities have to be passed up in order for all three of us to get a decent night’s sleep.

What is it about the intensity of the doctoral program that turns your life into an apparent vacuum? There is little time left to just sit and when you do take that time it is typically at the expense of getting doc work done. It definitely serves as an incentive not to sit in ABD status forever. But it is important to take mini siestas where possible to recharge the rechargeables. I enjoy our Wii Fit Plus multiplayer battles. It is a welcome relief from the stress the doc work and life’s other battles places on your shoulders. And do not worry- work will still be there waiting for you. I am finding I can actually approach the work with new insights when I break it into smaller sections and step away to do something light-hearted and relaxing.

This journey is truly a marathon-so make sure you pace yourself.

In order to stay focused and make progress I am deciding to dedicate two hours each day to working on my proposal. It is the only way I will make any significant progress towards completing it. This is really requiring a mental shift in how I approach my work. I am used to sitting down and working on a project in a five hour sitting but the enormity that is a research proposal is a marathon pace, not a 400 meter dash. This process really forces you to evaluate your study skills access your approach to writing.

I have worked in higher education for most of my adult life.  While I took breaks for childbirth and raising and ventured into other arenas briefly, my heart has always been with education, specifically working with students in student affairs.   Once I returned and realized after my brief sabbaticals that student affairs was what I wanted to do for life, I decided to begin pursuing my terminal degree.   At the time I thought my primary goal was to teach in a full time faculty role, but I am a strong believer that you need folks who are able to do research as well as put that research into practice in order to be an effective student affairs administrator.  To that end My ultimate goal is to continue to work in student affairs while lending my education and expertise to the classroom for those who are preparing to enter into the student affairs arena.

I began my program in September 2006 at Western Michigan University.  I am coming into the home stretch of course work-I am currently taking two classes this semester and I have one to take this summer.  I successfully passed comprehensive exams in October of 2009.  I am currently working on my proposal.  My deadline I have for myself of defending the proposal is this summer, with a final completion of research and defense of 2011.

It has not been an easy road.  I am a single mother and have been the entirety of my children’s lives.  I have two boys, 9 and 5, who were only 5 and 2 when I began this journey.  It has been a challenge for all of us-trying to find a balance between home, the kids schooling and activities, mom’s after hour work activites, and mom’s schooling.  There have been bumps along the way but we are making it slowly but surely.

The purpose of this blog is to have a record of the challenges faced by any individual of any circumstance attempting to finish a terminal degree.  I would like to be able to reflect back on this time, to see what was going on at each moment, in order to share with others who are considering this path what to expect.  Some of the blog entries might relate more to the personal side of the pursuit i.e. the impact on my personal life.  Others will look at the challenges of being a non-traditional student, one who has personal beliefs that sometimes present a challenge for her finding and taking classes while remaining true to who she is.  Also note that I’m a fan of somethings in popular culture that speak to me although I don’t watch a lot of television, so you may see a random image/reference here or there-please don’t be alarmed.  It is my attempt to keep things light and fluffy!

And here we go!